by: Janeen Clark
This is a good exercise to use when you want to discover what is really going on behind the scenes of your negative experiences. There is something positive beyond them - you just need to discover what it is.
You see, your higher self sees beyond time and current circumstances. It knows your “true intentions“, even if you are unaware of them consciously, and it will do everything in its power to match you vibrationally to that thing you are “truly” wanting.
For instance, if your higher intention is safety and security and something comes up that will jeopardize that safety and security (even if you are unaware that it will jeopardize it at the time) it is not at all surprising that obstacles will suddenly appear to prevent you from making a mistake.
Quite often we can misinterpret this obstacles as negative things happening to us or it is just us “not getting what we want when we want it” but there is a little more to it than that.
The following story is an example:
My husband and I were living in a house we bought in Staten Island when we first got married. At the time we bought it, we were both working full time in Manhattan, and while we were making just enough to afford it, there was no extra money.
After a couple of years we decided we wanted to have a baby, but realized that there was no way we could continue to pay for the house if I quit working to stay home to take care of the baby (which I really wanted to do) nor could we afford a full time sitter under the circumstances.
So we decided the only logical solution was to sell our house in New York and have a house built in Southern New Jersey about an hour and a half away. The houses there were much cheaper and we could afford to live there on one salary. We were leaving friends and family behind, but we couldn’t see any other choice.
This was when we ended up making one of the most ridiculous mistakes we could have ever made (or so we thought). Instead of taking the money from the sale of our Staten Island home and putting it into an escrow account to be used for the down payment on the new house we were having built, we made the mistake of giving the money directly to the builder. This builder then proceeded to skip town with it; leaving us with no house, no money to buy another one and no way to find him. By the time this all occurred I was already six months pregnant. Now to say I was despondent was putting it mildly!
We had no choice but to get ourselves an apartment in Staten Island and pray that we would hit some kind of lottery, because with only my husband working it would take years to save up enough money for another down payment. On top of that, the housing boom hit which put $200,000 homes into the half million dollar category! Talk about watching your dream get further and further away from you!
Now you see, I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason, but at the time, I truly couldn’t figure this one out. We were both good and honest people; we had worked hard and had saved every penny we could and now it was all gone in one fell swoop.
Even though I had already starting learning about the law of attraction, this was a really tough one for me to overcome. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t seem to get past the resentment I felt towards the whole situation. Which of coarse kept me in the situation even longer.
Eventually I started getting back into studying, meditating and looking forward instead of back. It was no easy climb, I assure you. But I started my own online business and put all my energy into focusing on bringing more money in as opposed to staying focused on what we had lost.
Now this is when things got interesting. During the time this was all happening, my mother met a really great guy she was getting serious with. He had his own house in Pennsylvania and she eventually found herself spending more time there then she was in her own house in Staten Island. She didn’t want to sell her house because she still wanted a place to be able to come back to when she visited us or my brother.
So she made us a deal. If my husband and I would take over all the expenses of the house (the mortgage was paid off years ago, so it was just taxes, insurance and the utilities), we could live there as long as we wanted. We only needed to leave the guest room open for her anytime she wanted to visit. Talk about a no-brainer!
The part that strikes me funny though (and what inspired this article, by the way) is that I just came across my old law of attraction journals and read what I had written years ago right before I had sold my own Staten Island home.
It is the list of intentions I wrote to Universe about what I was choosing to create for my future. This is what it said:
I choose to live in a beautiful house I can easily afford
I choose it to be in a great neighborhood
I choose to be surrounded by good friends and neighbors
I choose it to be located in a great school zone
There were some other minor things, but that was the gist of it. What amazes me looking at it now is realizing that I never stated that I had to own the house, or that I was going to have the perfect house built, or even stated that it was going to be a beautiful house in New Jersey; though I know at the time that I wrote the list that that was the direction we were headed because we were already in the process.
All I know is, I am glad that Universe took me at my word and I am very happy that in this case I wasn‘t more specific, because I couldn’t have foreseen how much better this situation would work out for me.
You see, in the time that it took for all these things to occur, the property taxes in the area of New Jersey that I was going to move to has since tripled! If I was living there now it would be costing me more than I was originally paying for my first Staten Island house that I couldn’t afford. It would have been a constant financial struggle, even if I had found another full time job out of the house.
Not to mention how easily the other things on my list fell into place. I am living in a great neighborhood, I am already surrounded by good friends and neighbors because I have known them most of my life growing up here and my son is in the same excellent school zone I was in!
The point is, quite often we don’t realize when we are right in the thick of what we perceive to be a negative situation, that there is something for our greater good beyond it.
We get so focused on cursing the darkness in the tunnel that we forget to look for the light at the end of it.
So here is the exercise for you. It comes in two parts with a bonus at the end if you really want to get into it..
Part One
Think back and write down all the times when what you thought was a negative situation turned into a positive one.
For instance:
When you had to cancel vacation plans due to work or lack of money and found out later they had a hurricane that week.
When you missed your flight due to bad weather and then found out the plane you were supposed to be on got stuck on the tarmac for 7 hours and you were at least in a comfortable airport with a bar and a bathroom!
When you didn’t get a job you thought you wanted and ended up being available for a better one.
When the person you wanted to call you never did, and you ended up meeting the “one” because you were single.
When you missed making the perfect investment, only to find out the company tanked and you would have lost a ton of money.
You get the idea. These things happen all the time. Writing them down helps reaffirm to you that Universe (or your higher self, if you prefer) does in fact have your best interests at heart. If you have a hard time coming up with anything, think about every good thing in your life right now and backtrack. Believe me, you will start to see many ways these things couldn’t have come to you if you had indeed gotten what you originally asked for.
Part Two
Start looking for the light at the end of your tunnel by asking What If? What If The Reason I Haven’t Gotten What I Want Yet Is Because….? Start stretching your mind with ideas of what your higher self might have in store for you that you just haven’t realized yet.
For example:
What if (I didn’t get this position) because a better one is waiting for me.
What if (the reason the deal on buying the house fell through) was because the roof is about to collapse this winter and it would have cost me a fortune I wouldn’t have.
What if (the reason he/she hasn’t called me for another date) was because they are total psychos and my higher self knows better than for me to get involved with them.
What if (the reason the car broke down today when I had somewhere really important to be) was because I would have been involved in a major accident if I had been on the highway today.
What if (the reason I can’t afford the ski trip right now) is because I would have broken my leg on the slopes.
What if (the reason I am stuck on the absolutely slowest line in the store) is because if I left earlier I would run into someone I really don’t want to see right now.
Really stretch your imagination. The fun part of this exercise is that it can help soothe you through disappointment. But the most important part happens later when you prove yourself to be right and you indeed confirm that your higher self has your best interests at heart. That’s when you begin to trust that everything is happening in exactly the right order.
Now for the Bonus Part if you really want to get into it.
Step Three
Try to find your true “hidden intention” as opposed to what you think that you want.
For instance, with my Jersey house. I originally thought my intention was to have this beautifully built house in New Jersey. But in truth my “hidden intention” was just to live in a beautiful house I could afford. This was obvious by how I wrote my intention on my list. After struggling financially in our first house, security was really all I was looking for and just hadn’t realized it. It wasn’t until after I received it that I noticed the blessing it really was.
Maybe in your case, your “hidden intention” was to find someone who really cared about you and was interested in the same things you are. You might have originally thought you were going to find this with a person of the opposite sex but instead you found it in the new best friend you made six months ago and you just haven‘t realized it yet.
So start enjoying and appreciating that friend that Universe sent you in answer to your request and watch how that higher vibration will automatically attract the opposite sex person you are also wanting. Heck! It might even be through that friend.
We are happily such complicated creatures. So much lies below the surface we aren‘t even aware of. But the daily discovery of these things is what makes life so fun and interesting.
Just the fact that you are reading these types of articles means you are already on your way to discovery.
So start looking for the positives that await you in your future. If something you are going through appears negative at the moment, it simply means you haven’t yet discovered the place your higher self is leading you to.
Don’t get discouraged, don’t give up and don’t curse the darkness. Start taking the first steps now to finding the light at the end of your tunnel.
Happy Creating!
Sabtu, 23 Agustus 2008
I Think I Can. I Think I Can. Can I?
by: Michele Wahlder
I think I can. I think I can. Can I?
Your mental train ticket to self-empowerment
We all find ourselves at certain points in our lives holding first class tickets to negative mental trains of thought. Michele Wahlder (MS, LPC, PCC), a two-time cancer survivor and Dallas, Texas-based Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist, has placed thousands of people on the right track to self-empowerment via a plan she calls the 5 C Process. The journey challenges individuals to:
One
Clarify Current View – Where are you now- honestly?
Conscious awareness of your current view is the first step in becoming the best you can be. Getting clear about how your life aligns with your values, talents and unique gifts is vital to your happiness. You need to know where you are in order to learn where you want to go.
You can clarify your current view by completing a review of eight life areas. Be honest with yourself about how happy are you with your profession, finances, health and overall well-being, primary relationships, personal development, spirituality, environment, hobbies, etc.
Two
Connect with Your Highest Vision – Where do you want to be?
Example: A client of mine, a yoga instructor, decided she was happy teaching but wanted to contribute to the world on a larger level. She wasn’t happy with the quality of the yoga clothing that was accessible to her and her fellow yogis. Her vision was to design and create fun, hip and timeless yoga clothes using eco-conscious fabrics.
You have to get really clear about what you want. It is crucial that you connect to your highest vision of yourself because you can’t create it unless you are clear about what it looks like. If you don’t have a vision of where you want to go or what you want to be, you will most likely NOT get there. To quote Henrietta Klauser, “If you have a connection to what you want, take the next step and write it down.” If you don’t have any idea about what you want, or how you want to be in life to bring about greater happiness, begin looking through magazines and create a Vision Board/Collage of what attracts you. You may also want to consider getting an outside perspective from a friend or a professional coach. I take my clients through a guided imagery that gives them a glimpse of what their future could look like. There are also books that can help guide you. Just get help assessing your talents, divine gifts and abilities and then determine how you want to use them more fully in the world. We can’t help others as fully, if we are not aware of how we can best serve. So instead of thinking of it as selfish to engage in knowing yourself better, I would suggest you consider it selfish to hold back and not be the best you can be. Only in this way, can we help the world and others.
Three
Create Inspiring Goals – How will you get there?
Example: My client created a tiered plan of what needed to happen step by step – outer goal. All of this was influenced by her inner goal of keeping a measured pace and a balanced life. Her goal was to enjoy the process.
You have to create a plan and take specific actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. When most people write goals, they just write a list of action steps, usually external actions. I believe it is more powerful to have inner and outer goals. An outer goal is what you want. For instance, you might think, “I want a new house”. An inner goal is more focused on the how. How will a new home benefit me and my family? Will it offer more common gathering areas, a larger kitchen so that we can cook together, etc.? How can I appreciate what I have now until I get this home? How can I make this a joyful experience rather than a stressful one? If you can not be grateful for what you have now, then when you get a new home, it will only create very short-term happiness for you. Then, you will be focused on the next external illusion of happiness. For 2008, I suggest taking at least three of the life areas I mentioned earlier and jot down how you couldbenefit from living your highest vision in each area. Next, add action steps toward your desired achievements along with completion dates.
Four
Clear Obstacles – How will you remove obstacles in your way?
We all have dreams and visions for our life, but frankly, there are many things that can get in the way. The two most common obstacles I see with my clients are:
The inability to say NO— In order to bridge the gap from your current view to your highest vision, you have to make room for what “Could Be”. If your life is full and you want to add more of the things that are truly important in your life, you should start the change process by making room first. You must say no to some things in your life, so you can say yes to what is most important. You have to give up the destructive habits, behaviors and activities to make room for new ones.
A metaphor would be a water hose watering a flowering plant. The water in the hose is your life force and the flowering plant is what you are trying to grow in your life. If the water hose has leaks, it will not have enough water or life force/energy to reach its desired outcome or vision (to grow the plant into full bloom). Examples of leaks might include toxic friendships, unrealistic expectations, watching too much television, eating sugar, overspending, negative relational patterns with your spouse or working on an outdated job.
Example: A client’s obstacle here was that her 8- year-old daughter needed caring for and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to be a good mother plus jumpstart a successful, new business. We remedied this issue by getting clear on the proper definition of a good mother. Also, practically speaking, she needed help picking up her daughter from school. So she got her husband to assist her in this area so she would have time to create this new business.
Negative self-talk—Research shows we have approximately 50,000 internal messages we say to ourselves daily. We are constantly walking around having conversations with ourselves. And it is what we say that makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives.
Example: I was once in Starbucks, and I watched this woman spill her coffee while reaching for a sugar packet and I heard her say out loud, “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
Now, I just happen to hear her, but this is an example of something you might say internally as well. You might think, “No big deal. I say things like this to myself all the time.” Well, IT IS A BIG DEAL as our subconscious hears these messages and acts on them as if they were real. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want someone else saying to you.
Think of self-talk like mental fuel. Now, imagine filling your car with dirty water. We all know you wouldn’t get very far. Now, take that same car and fill it with high quality gasoline. You’ll most likely reach your destination. It is the same with people and the words we use. If the words are negative and toxic, we will sputter along with low energy and our performance suffers. If our words are positive and tender, we will feel confident, energized, encouraged and will most likely meet our goals faster and easier. Here are some key things to remember if you ever find yourself preparing to board the train of BAD self-talk:
B– stands for belittling self-talk. Stop telling yourself, “I am not good enough.” If your dream is to have a healthy self-confidence, which of the following examples is more likely to get your there:
A. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
B. “Whoops, mistakes happen.”
Can you see how the Answer B is much kinder?
A – stands for awfulizing. Stop predicting a future filled with gloom and doom, and dwelling on scary thoughts. If you dream of obtaining a career you love, which of the following will move you closer to your vision:
A. “I did terribly on my interview, I’ll never find a job I like.”
B. “I will answer that question on past employment differently next time and I will ace it! I know I will one day have the job I love.”
Can you see how Answer B places you in the mindset of a successful job search?
D – stands for deceiving. This is when you deceive yourself into thinking you are a victim, and that other people are to blame for your circumstances. If we want a happy relationship which will of the below responses will aid in achieving this goal:
A. “If my spouse would only do more around the house, then I would be happy.”
B. “I can and will choose happiness today, no matter what my spouse does.”
Answer B is the right choice, wouldn’t you agree?
S – stands for shoulding – This is when you give yourself a lot of shoulds, musts, and ought tos, then beat yourself up for not living up to unrealistic standards. Say your dream is to be in top physical condition, which will further that:
A. “I should have eaten a salad for lunch instead of that big ol’ hamburger. I’m such a pig!”
B. “I could have eaten a salad, but I chose not to. Tomorrow I will make healthier choices.”
The second choice is so much more inspiring, don’t you think?
Five
Commit to Action – Are you willing to do what it takes?
The final step of the 5 C Process is to commit to action. How many times have we all made plans and never carried them out, or started off excited and lost motivation? No one ever does anything great alone. We all need encouragement and support from others including an accountability partner who is willing to help hold the vision of the person you want to be. In the previous example of my client, her biggest negative self-talk was how to be a good mom and a good business woman. Her thoughts were, “If I don’t pick up my child every day from school, I am a bad mother.” Instead, we replaced it with, “Picking up my child from school daily is not what makes me a good mother. I am, indeed, a fabulous mother.”
Here are the four action steps that have been proven to help you eliminate your negative self talk:
• Become aware of your negative messages –listen to voice in head
• Stop! You have to stop immediately if you find yourself dwelling on any negative thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with a kinder alternatives
• Practice. It takes a commitment of time in order to turn a pattern of negative thinking into a more positive train of thought.
This interview was referenced by http://www.chinika.com. To learn more about Michele’s 5 C Process and her upcoming seminars, please call 214 -823-LIFE ( 5433), or visit her Web site at http://www.michelewahlder.com Once there, you will also be able to download a free workbook containing strategies on how to obtain a positive outlook on life.
I think I can. I think I can. Can I?
Your mental train ticket to self-empowerment
We all find ourselves at certain points in our lives holding first class tickets to negative mental trains of thought. Michele Wahlder (MS, LPC, PCC), a two-time cancer survivor and Dallas, Texas-based Certified Life Coach and Psychotherapist, has placed thousands of people on the right track to self-empowerment via a plan she calls the 5 C Process. The journey challenges individuals to:
One
Clarify Current View – Where are you now- honestly?
Conscious awareness of your current view is the first step in becoming the best you can be. Getting clear about how your life aligns with your values, talents and unique gifts is vital to your happiness. You need to know where you are in order to learn where you want to go.
You can clarify your current view by completing a review of eight life areas. Be honest with yourself about how happy are you with your profession, finances, health and overall well-being, primary relationships, personal development, spirituality, environment, hobbies, etc.
Two
Connect with Your Highest Vision – Where do you want to be?
Example: A client of mine, a yoga instructor, decided she was happy teaching but wanted to contribute to the world on a larger level. She wasn’t happy with the quality of the yoga clothing that was accessible to her and her fellow yogis. Her vision was to design and create fun, hip and timeless yoga clothes using eco-conscious fabrics.
You have to get really clear about what you want. It is crucial that you connect to your highest vision of yourself because you can’t create it unless you are clear about what it looks like. If you don’t have a vision of where you want to go or what you want to be, you will most likely NOT get there. To quote Henrietta Klauser, “If you have a connection to what you want, take the next step and write it down.” If you don’t have any idea about what you want, or how you want to be in life to bring about greater happiness, begin looking through magazines and create a Vision Board/Collage of what attracts you. You may also want to consider getting an outside perspective from a friend or a professional coach. I take my clients through a guided imagery that gives them a glimpse of what their future could look like. There are also books that can help guide you. Just get help assessing your talents, divine gifts and abilities and then determine how you want to use them more fully in the world. We can’t help others as fully, if we are not aware of how we can best serve. So instead of thinking of it as selfish to engage in knowing yourself better, I would suggest you consider it selfish to hold back and not be the best you can be. Only in this way, can we help the world and others.
Three
Create Inspiring Goals – How will you get there?
Example: My client created a tiered plan of what needed to happen step by step – outer goal. All of this was influenced by her inner goal of keeping a measured pace and a balanced life. Her goal was to enjoy the process.
You have to create a plan and take specific actions to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. When most people write goals, they just write a list of action steps, usually external actions. I believe it is more powerful to have inner and outer goals. An outer goal is what you want. For instance, you might think, “I want a new house”. An inner goal is more focused on the how. How will a new home benefit me and my family? Will it offer more common gathering areas, a larger kitchen so that we can cook together, etc.? How can I appreciate what I have now until I get this home? How can I make this a joyful experience rather than a stressful one? If you can not be grateful for what you have now, then when you get a new home, it will only create very short-term happiness for you. Then, you will be focused on the next external illusion of happiness. For 2008, I suggest taking at least three of the life areas I mentioned earlier and jot down how you couldbenefit from living your highest vision in each area. Next, add action steps toward your desired achievements along with completion dates.
Four
Clear Obstacles – How will you remove obstacles in your way?
We all have dreams and visions for our life, but frankly, there are many things that can get in the way. The two most common obstacles I see with my clients are:
The inability to say NO— In order to bridge the gap from your current view to your highest vision, you have to make room for what “Could Be”. If your life is full and you want to add more of the things that are truly important in your life, you should start the change process by making room first. You must say no to some things in your life, so you can say yes to what is most important. You have to give up the destructive habits, behaviors and activities to make room for new ones.
A metaphor would be a water hose watering a flowering plant. The water in the hose is your life force and the flowering plant is what you are trying to grow in your life. If the water hose has leaks, it will not have enough water or life force/energy to reach its desired outcome or vision (to grow the plant into full bloom). Examples of leaks might include toxic friendships, unrealistic expectations, watching too much television, eating sugar, overspending, negative relational patterns with your spouse or working on an outdated job.
Example: A client’s obstacle here was that her 8- year-old daughter needed caring for and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to be a good mother plus jumpstart a successful, new business. We remedied this issue by getting clear on the proper definition of a good mother. Also, practically speaking, she needed help picking up her daughter from school. So she got her husband to assist her in this area so she would have time to create this new business.
Negative self-talk—Research shows we have approximately 50,000 internal messages we say to ourselves daily. We are constantly walking around having conversations with ourselves. And it is what we say that makes all the difference in the overall quality of our lives.
Example: I was once in Starbucks, and I watched this woman spill her coffee while reaching for a sugar packet and I heard her say out loud, “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
Now, I just happen to hear her, but this is an example of something you might say internally as well. You might think, “No big deal. I say things like this to myself all the time.” Well, IT IS A BIG DEAL as our subconscious hears these messages and acts on them as if they were real. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t want someone else saying to you.
Think of self-talk like mental fuel. Now, imagine filling your car with dirty water. We all know you wouldn’t get very far. Now, take that same car and fill it with high quality gasoline. You’ll most likely reach your destination. It is the same with people and the words we use. If the words are negative and toxic, we will sputter along with low energy and our performance suffers. If our words are positive and tender, we will feel confident, energized, encouraged and will most likely meet our goals faster and easier. Here are some key things to remember if you ever find yourself preparing to board the train of BAD self-talk:
B– stands for belittling self-talk. Stop telling yourself, “I am not good enough.” If your dream is to have a healthy self-confidence, which of the following examples is more likely to get your there:
A. “I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I did that.”
B. “Whoops, mistakes happen.”
Can you see how the Answer B is much kinder?
A – stands for awfulizing. Stop predicting a future filled with gloom and doom, and dwelling on scary thoughts. If you dream of obtaining a career you love, which of the following will move you closer to your vision:
A. “I did terribly on my interview, I’ll never find a job I like.”
B. “I will answer that question on past employment differently next time and I will ace it! I know I will one day have the job I love.”
Can you see how Answer B places you in the mindset of a successful job search?
D – stands for deceiving. This is when you deceive yourself into thinking you are a victim, and that other people are to blame for your circumstances. If we want a happy relationship which will of the below responses will aid in achieving this goal:
A. “If my spouse would only do more around the house, then I would be happy.”
B. “I can and will choose happiness today, no matter what my spouse does.”
Answer B is the right choice, wouldn’t you agree?
S – stands for shoulding – This is when you give yourself a lot of shoulds, musts, and ought tos, then beat yourself up for not living up to unrealistic standards. Say your dream is to be in top physical condition, which will further that:
A. “I should have eaten a salad for lunch instead of that big ol’ hamburger. I’m such a pig!”
B. “I could have eaten a salad, but I chose not to. Tomorrow I will make healthier choices.”
The second choice is so much more inspiring, don’t you think?
Five
Commit to Action – Are you willing to do what it takes?
The final step of the 5 C Process is to commit to action. How many times have we all made plans and never carried them out, or started off excited and lost motivation? No one ever does anything great alone. We all need encouragement and support from others including an accountability partner who is willing to help hold the vision of the person you want to be. In the previous example of my client, her biggest negative self-talk was how to be a good mom and a good business woman. Her thoughts were, “If I don’t pick up my child every day from school, I am a bad mother.” Instead, we replaced it with, “Picking up my child from school daily is not what makes me a good mother. I am, indeed, a fabulous mother.”
Here are the four action steps that have been proven to help you eliminate your negative self talk:
• Become aware of your negative messages –listen to voice in head
• Stop! You have to stop immediately if you find yourself dwelling on any negative thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with a kinder alternatives
• Practice. It takes a commitment of time in order to turn a pattern of negative thinking into a more positive train of thought.
This interview was referenced by http://www.chinika.com. To learn more about Michele’s 5 C Process and her upcoming seminars, please call 214 -823-LIFE ( 5433), or visit her Web site at http://www.michelewahlder.com Once there, you will also be able to download a free workbook containing strategies on how to obtain a positive outlook on life.
William Stephenson, On Doing More In Life
by: William Stephenson
My name is William Stephenson; I grew up in Manasquan and have spent most of my life in New Jersey. I’d like to speak with you about achieving your best, about making the most of your assets and realizing your biggest dreams.
I was raised with the adage that my accomplishments were only limited to the heights I could imagine. This was a commonly used and inspirational line that many parents shared with their children. At the time, those words didn’t mean so much to me. Upon further reflection however, the spirit of those words was ever present in my blind sub-conscience.
When I was only 9 years of age, I had 2 paper routes on opposite ends of town. It was a morning paper, The Start Ledger; therefore both routes had to be completed by 7am. I pedaled fast to get back from the Manasquan Beach and change in time for school. The early riches that I enjoyed afforded many crucial lessons which would subsequently fuel my future achievements.
By learning the power of hard work and money at such an early age, an age where we’re all highly impressionable, it forever solidified the correlation between the two. I am incredibly grateful to my parents for supporting me in those early desires. The significance of this work should not be underscored; to me, it helped form one of my core values in life, responsibility.
By learning to do for myself and not waiting for someone else to take responsibility, I not only acquired things more speedily, but I had the good feeling of having earned them myself.
This early money was invested wisely, not an IRA, not a 401K, I used those funds for flight lessons at Allaire Airport. At age 13, I was speaking with an Uncle of mine. He was a war hero to me, who fought in Korea. He stated that he always regretted not learning how to fly. For some reason, his regret cautioned me enough not to follow his path. I clipped a 50% off coupon from an Entertainment Guide for an introductory flight lesson. Well, soaring above my home town and central New Jersey served two purposes. First, it sold me instantly on the joys of flight. Second, and more importantly, it extended my reach out into the world; it effectively reduced the size of it and led me to believe that it would be easier to conquer now. Again, I have to thank my parents for allowing me to circle their home at 1000 feet. They clearly hadn’t read all of the accident reports on that scenario.
About one year after that first flight lesson, I accomplished one of my most rewarding feats. I had officially been involved with Boy Scout Troop 59 of Manasquan for only 4 years when I had reached a pinnacle by attaining the rank of Eagle Scout. To this day, less than 2% of all scouts make it that far. To this day as well, I still don’t know why that percentage has remained so low. Even at age 14, my drive was surpassing my moments. Each Eagle Scout applicant must appear before a board of review to validate his award and confirm that he in fact extols the virtues befitting the milestone. At this board of review the applicant sits among and across from several elders in his troop as well as a representative from the council level, the governing body for many troops.
I perplexed them all that evening, not on purpose of course. All I had to do was answer a few questions and I would be an Eagle Scout. Later, I was told that the elders of my troop were kicking themselves underneath the table. They would have preferred that I had said less rather than more that evening.
I was questioned about my awareness of the high honor they would soon bestow upon me. My answers and my feelings in general about the rank of Eagle Scout at the time were slightly dismissive. Quite frankly, I saw the rank of Eagle as just another step along the scouting trail. In fact, as they pressed me about why I didn’t seem as excited about it as perhaps the elders were, I told them that every scout should follow the logical path that I had taken and achieve the rank as well. My unrefined point that evening was that I felt the very act of holding that rank up on a special pedestal was one of the impediments to most scouts attaining it. I believe that more scouts would enjoy the accolade if it were not placed so high above them. Of course, this could possibly dilute the experience at the same time.
After much back and forth, I acquiesced and agreed that it was indeed a tremendous accomplishment. I was now one of the younger Eagle Scouts in our troop’s storied history. My years in scouting provided far too many memories and tales to share with you this evening, however, the leadership skills that I cultivated during those early years would prove pivotal. They have played a key part in every major accomplishment and milestone after that. I believe the Boy Scouts to be a fine organization for our youth when accompanied by active parenting. Its affects are incalculable.
Psychologists say that the majority of our basic learning is acquired by the age of 16; if this in indeed true, the importance of our early decisions is paramount. The more healthy habits and useful ventures we take part in during this phase of life, the better.
Soon, I was off to college at the University of South Carolina. I worked almost continuously through those years and took my virtues to the job place. I found myself in a setting where the status quo ruled. It’s certainly easier in the short term to follow the lead; however, leading the pack at the workplace provides far greater returns in the long run. Standing out and shaking up the system takes courage or simply a set of convictions that disregards the consequences. This is why leading in life is critical. When you place yourself in the driver’s seat you are less beholden to peer-pressures which may lead people astray.
Throughout these years my love for flying never ceased. I worked to learn and that correlation always seemed to get me through the tougher days. After graduating with a Bachelors degree in an area unrelated to flying, I returned home and finished the flight ratings required in order to call myself a professional pilot. I was now getting paid to give sightseeing tours up the Hudson River and around the Statue of Liberty. It was a tremendous feeling being right back where I started 10 years earlier yet so much further ahead. I was now getting paid for every one of those coveted flight hours necessary for advancement, how ironic, I felt?
Another crucial lesson learned during this phase of my life was how two steps back could lead oneself miles ahead. I left that wonderful job at Allaire Airport and gambled on a new venture at Teterboro Airport in North Jersey. I made less money and added one hour to my commute each way. Many thought I was crazy, but I was looking beyond tomorrow.
For the next 6½ years, I participated in a niche market in the business aviation world. I flew organ transplant teams around our country in Lear jets, King Airs, and Barons. It was hard work; we were often called into action at the last minute and it was typically midnight. Years later I would be rewarded for those efforts in a far greater way than just my pay. More on that treat soon.
The challenges that forced my cohorts and I in this last position codified that work ethic learned as a paper boy years earlier. One of the lessons there taught me that we are continually growing and every action or inaction we participate in affects our future. We mustn’t look at each day as just any day. Every morning we wake up is another opportunity to better ourselves. Rarely will anyone of us remain stagnant; we’re either moving a head or behind in life. We make these choices everyday and all day.
After just nine years in the aviation industry I had yet again reached a pinnacle. I have taken a job on a Challenger jet flying a Fortune 200 company and its proprietors around the globe. Those early paper route dollars that I invested in flight training have come full circle. Delivering The Star Ledger has broadened my horizons in the literal sense. My world had in fact shrunk that afternoon at age 13, when I took my first flight and my first flight lesson.
To help drive this point home, as to how each action we take today lends to our successes or failures tomorrow, let me tell you about my high school prom date. Edie was one of the more unique individuals attending Manasquan High School during my years there. I quickly noted something special about her. At the time of our senior prom, she had a boyfriend from another school. Because of those circumstances, I was certainly not looking short term when I asked her to be my date for that event. I was looking far into my future and recently that has paid off for me as well. On May 5th of this year Edie and I were married in Manahawkin, NJ; my high school sweetheart is now so much more and forever.
Now, as promised, the reward worth so much more than a paycheck. About a year ago I found myself at a wake for my friend’s grandmother. At this wake I was introduced to the parents of a 6 year old boy. I was expecting to meet these folks because I knew their son had been given a personal tour of Giant’s Stadium a couple of years prior, compliments of the Make-a-Wish Foundation. We had some mutual friends in that football organization. As I spoke with the boy’s parents, I was less interested in the NY Giants and more interested in what their child had endured to warrant the attention of the foundation. The Father told me that his son Stephen had received a heart transplant in early 2001. As they were asking me about the NY Giants, I persisted with the questions about his son’s heart. Well, as it turned out, at about midnight in early 2001, my copilot and I flew to Bradley International Airport in Connecticut and retrieved Stephen’s heart. Confirming the details of the missionafter the wake made me very emotional. This was the closest I had ever been to realizing the fruits of my labor. About two weeks later, we all gathered at little Stephen’s house and enjoyed the Super Bowl together. Stephen told me after a couple hours, “Thank you for my heart.”
Now, in conclusion, I’m no different than anyone else in this room. The only privilege I had growing up was my parents blessing on the myriad of desires I came home with each week. They thankfully had the courage themselves to let me take things to their conclusion. Well, I’m still reaching. When I fly along at 41,000 feet and I gaze out into the stars at night, they just don’t seem so far away. Each and every one of those stars seems to be inviting me towards it. I know there is something behind each one and the more stars that I can look behind, the more confident I grow. Harness each and every day you live and before you know it, you’ll be leading life, not simply living it.
Thank you all very much for allowing me to share some of the things I have learned about life in my first 34 years.
My name is William Stephenson; I grew up in Manasquan and have spent most of my life in New Jersey. I’d like to speak with you about achieving your best, about making the most of your assets and realizing your biggest dreams.
I was raised with the adage that my accomplishments were only limited to the heights I could imagine. This was a commonly used and inspirational line that many parents shared with their children. At the time, those words didn’t mean so much to me. Upon further reflection however, the spirit of those words was ever present in my blind sub-conscience.
When I was only 9 years of age, I had 2 paper routes on opposite ends of town. It was a morning paper, The Start Ledger; therefore both routes had to be completed by 7am. I pedaled fast to get back from the Manasquan Beach and change in time for school. The early riches that I enjoyed afforded many crucial lessons which would subsequently fuel my future achievements.
By learning the power of hard work and money at such an early age, an age where we’re all highly impressionable, it forever solidified the correlation between the two. I am incredibly grateful to my parents for supporting me in those early desires. The significance of this work should not be underscored; to me, it helped form one of my core values in life, responsibility.
By learning to do for myself and not waiting for someone else to take responsibility, I not only acquired things more speedily, but I had the good feeling of having earned them myself.
This early money was invested wisely, not an IRA, not a 401K, I used those funds for flight lessons at Allaire Airport. At age 13, I was speaking with an Uncle of mine. He was a war hero to me, who fought in Korea. He stated that he always regretted not learning how to fly. For some reason, his regret cautioned me enough not to follow his path. I clipped a 50% off coupon from an Entertainment Guide for an introductory flight lesson. Well, soaring above my home town and central New Jersey served two purposes. First, it sold me instantly on the joys of flight. Second, and more importantly, it extended my reach out into the world; it effectively reduced the size of it and led me to believe that it would be easier to conquer now. Again, I have to thank my parents for allowing me to circle their home at 1000 feet. They clearly hadn’t read all of the accident reports on that scenario.
About one year after that first flight lesson, I accomplished one of my most rewarding feats. I had officially been involved with Boy Scout Troop 59 of Manasquan for only 4 years when I had reached a pinnacle by attaining the rank of Eagle Scout. To this day, less than 2% of all scouts make it that far. To this day as well, I still don’t know why that percentage has remained so low. Even at age 14, my drive was surpassing my moments. Each Eagle Scout applicant must appear before a board of review to validate his award and confirm that he in fact extols the virtues befitting the milestone. At this board of review the applicant sits among and across from several elders in his troop as well as a representative from the council level, the governing body for many troops.
I perplexed them all that evening, not on purpose of course. All I had to do was answer a few questions and I would be an Eagle Scout. Later, I was told that the elders of my troop were kicking themselves underneath the table. They would have preferred that I had said less rather than more that evening.
I was questioned about my awareness of the high honor they would soon bestow upon me. My answers and my feelings in general about the rank of Eagle Scout at the time were slightly dismissive. Quite frankly, I saw the rank of Eagle as just another step along the scouting trail. In fact, as they pressed me about why I didn’t seem as excited about it as perhaps the elders were, I told them that every scout should follow the logical path that I had taken and achieve the rank as well. My unrefined point that evening was that I felt the very act of holding that rank up on a special pedestal was one of the impediments to most scouts attaining it. I believe that more scouts would enjoy the accolade if it were not placed so high above them. Of course, this could possibly dilute the experience at the same time.
After much back and forth, I acquiesced and agreed that it was indeed a tremendous accomplishment. I was now one of the younger Eagle Scouts in our troop’s storied history. My years in scouting provided far too many memories and tales to share with you this evening, however, the leadership skills that I cultivated during those early years would prove pivotal. They have played a key part in every major accomplishment and milestone after that. I believe the Boy Scouts to be a fine organization for our youth when accompanied by active parenting. Its affects are incalculable.
Psychologists say that the majority of our basic learning is acquired by the age of 16; if this in indeed true, the importance of our early decisions is paramount. The more healthy habits and useful ventures we take part in during this phase of life, the better.
Soon, I was off to college at the University of South Carolina. I worked almost continuously through those years and took my virtues to the job place. I found myself in a setting where the status quo ruled. It’s certainly easier in the short term to follow the lead; however, leading the pack at the workplace provides far greater returns in the long run. Standing out and shaking up the system takes courage or simply a set of convictions that disregards the consequences. This is why leading in life is critical. When you place yourself in the driver’s seat you are less beholden to peer-pressures which may lead people astray.
Throughout these years my love for flying never ceased. I worked to learn and that correlation always seemed to get me through the tougher days. After graduating with a Bachelors degree in an area unrelated to flying, I returned home and finished the flight ratings required in order to call myself a professional pilot. I was now getting paid to give sightseeing tours up the Hudson River and around the Statue of Liberty. It was a tremendous feeling being right back where I started 10 years earlier yet so much further ahead. I was now getting paid for every one of those coveted flight hours necessary for advancement, how ironic, I felt?
Another crucial lesson learned during this phase of my life was how two steps back could lead oneself miles ahead. I left that wonderful job at Allaire Airport and gambled on a new venture at Teterboro Airport in North Jersey. I made less money and added one hour to my commute each way. Many thought I was crazy, but I was looking beyond tomorrow.
For the next 6½ years, I participated in a niche market in the business aviation world. I flew organ transplant teams around our country in Lear jets, King Airs, and Barons. It was hard work; we were often called into action at the last minute and it was typically midnight. Years later I would be rewarded for those efforts in a far greater way than just my pay. More on that treat soon.
The challenges that forced my cohorts and I in this last position codified that work ethic learned as a paper boy years earlier. One of the lessons there taught me that we are continually growing and every action or inaction we participate in affects our future. We mustn’t look at each day as just any day. Every morning we wake up is another opportunity to better ourselves. Rarely will anyone of us remain stagnant; we’re either moving a head or behind in life. We make these choices everyday and all day.
After just nine years in the aviation industry I had yet again reached a pinnacle. I have taken a job on a Challenger jet flying a Fortune 200 company and its proprietors around the globe. Those early paper route dollars that I invested in flight training have come full circle. Delivering The Star Ledger has broadened my horizons in the literal sense. My world had in fact shrunk that afternoon at age 13, when I took my first flight and my first flight lesson.
To help drive this point home, as to how each action we take today lends to our successes or failures tomorrow, let me tell you about my high school prom date. Edie was one of the more unique individuals attending Manasquan High School during my years there. I quickly noted something special about her. At the time of our senior prom, she had a boyfriend from another school. Because of those circumstances, I was certainly not looking short term when I asked her to be my date for that event. I was looking far into my future and recently that has paid off for me as well. On May 5th of this year Edie and I were married in Manahawkin, NJ; my high school sweetheart is now so much more and forever.
Now, as promised, the reward worth so much more than a paycheck. About a year ago I found myself at a wake for my friend’s grandmother. At this wake I was introduced to the parents of a 6 year old boy. I was expecting to meet these folks because I knew their son had been given a personal tour of Giant’s Stadium a couple of years prior, compliments of the Make-a-Wish Foundation. We had some mutual friends in that football organization. As I spoke with the boy’s parents, I was less interested in the NY Giants and more interested in what their child had endured to warrant the attention of the foundation. The Father told me that his son Stephen had received a heart transplant in early 2001. As they were asking me about the NY Giants, I persisted with the questions about his son’s heart. Well, as it turned out, at about midnight in early 2001, my copilot and I flew to Bradley International Airport in Connecticut and retrieved Stephen’s heart. Confirming the details of the missionafter the wake made me very emotional. This was the closest I had ever been to realizing the fruits of my labor. About two weeks later, we all gathered at little Stephen’s house and enjoyed the Super Bowl together. Stephen told me after a couple hours, “Thank you for my heart.”
Now, in conclusion, I’m no different than anyone else in this room. The only privilege I had growing up was my parents blessing on the myriad of desires I came home with each week. They thankfully had the courage themselves to let me take things to their conclusion. Well, I’m still reaching. When I fly along at 41,000 feet and I gaze out into the stars at night, they just don’t seem so far away. Each and every one of those stars seems to be inviting me towards it. I know there is something behind each one and the more stars that I can look behind, the more confident I grow. Harness each and every day you live and before you know it, you’ll be leading life, not simply living it.
Thank you all very much for allowing me to share some of the things I have learned about life in my first 34 years.
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